Rumble Young Man Rumble IV - At Last, You're Home

I can't believe I've gone eight months between postings here. I also can't believe this is the fourth year in a row I've done Royal Rumble predictions on this thing. Time flies, I guess. More of a catchup post later, but as we're seven hours and counting down to the Royal Rumble 2009 I'll move right along.

Anyone who's read this blog knows by now that the Rumble is my favorite event of the year. Even if they screw everything else up throughout the year, you can always look forward to an hour of entertainment with the Rumble match itself. Even a bad Rumble match is still usually pretty good (okay, maybe outside of 1995's thirty second intervals) and looking back years later can be entertaining (1999, I'm looking at you). On with the predictions:

Beth Phoenix vs. Melina, Women's Title:

Melina's return as a babyface has gone over spectacularly well, but as is the case with the women's division they only seem to focus on one storyline at a time and when it's over, the one who doesn't end up with the title gets shoved back down to placeholder status. Right now Beth is riding a wave of popularity, much of it due to Santino Marella, and with rumors that they want Trish Stratus back for a Wrestlemania 25 match this year, they'd be crazy not to put them together. I saw Trish's return during Christmas live, and she looked as good as ever in the couple of moments she and Beth squared off. Rumor has it they want Trish against Michelle McCool, who's the fakest diva they've ever had and is nowhere near deserving of a match with the legendary Trish. As much as I'd like to see Melina get even a short run with the title to break up the monotony, I think she's just here to feed Beth and then fall back for a Mickie James type non-push. If we can get Santino trying to do Melina's entrance again, so much the more awesome.

Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy, ECW Title:

The ECW title seems to switch at the most unexpected times, which is usually not welcome. But while I haven't seen a lot of Swagger he seems to be doing well in his position and a run as champion here could set him up for a bigger run later on. As for Matt, I think he firmly belongs on Raw or Smackdown and is as deserving of his brother to get a WWE title run. Matt was great for bringing visibility to the ECW title, rather than the other way around, but it's time V1 goes back to Smackdown, especially with what's rumored to be happening later this year (more on that soon). Swagger retains with some sort of cheating.

CM Punk vs. William Regal, IC Title:

I've enjoyed their series of matches over the last few weeks, and this past week's title win by Punk was one of the better tv matches in a while. They seem to be interested in pushing Punk, just not as a main eventer yet. Weird that he's already kinda had the Triple Crown (though in all fairness, the WWE title is really what makes it, not the World Title) but done it in reverse, from World to Tag to IC belt. Regal was doing well as champion, but Punk holding the belt probably leads to some newer fued options like Jericho (sigh) or someone from Legacy not named Randy Orton. Punk retains.

John Cena vs. JBL, World Title:

Well, at least he's not IN the Rumble. With the storyline ongoing with Michaels and JBL, I see it playing out one of two ways: either HBK costs Cena the title and JBL goes on to face Michaels at Mania in front of a Texas crowd, or Michaels costs JBL and they have a grudge match sans title. Either way Shawn is playing a major part in the outcome, and I learned long ago not to bet against SuperCena retaining a title.

Jeff Hardy vs. Edge, WWE Title:

Now here's where it gets good. Jeff's so not retaining the title here, which normally is a shame. But because this is almost definitely where CHRISTIAN makes his long awaited return to the WWE, I'll let it slide (also because Edge ups his title count, and the Rated R superstar is phenominal in the role of slimy champion). Edge wins the strap, thanks to Captain Charisma-ference. With any luck, 2009 will be the year that the Ring Boys trade the WWE around between the four of them (Matt, Jeff, Edge and Christian) and HHH can fued with Vickie G. all year as far as I care.

2009 Royal Rumble Match:

There's a few interesting options in the match to make it interesting, but I think Randy Orton is the odds-on-favorite to win the match. He's won me over in the last few months with his character, mainly because he really is that big of a douchebag in real life. But still, Orton is on fire and deserve the Rumble win. Outside of Orton winning, I just hope as I always do that there's one or two surprise entries in the match that are a genuine shock. Note: Jimmy Snuka and Roddy Piper DO NOT COUNT. Hey, maybe this is the the return of Braden Walker!