Wrestlemania Weekend

Well here we go, it's time for the biggest spectacle of the year. The build for WM23 has been fairly well done, I'll give the WWE a bit of credit here. This whole Trump v. McMahon thing is a little overblown for my own personal tastes and Taker-Batista doesn't do much for me, but I'm mildly intrigued by those matches as well as Cena-Michaels. Here's the lineup, with predictions.

Battle of the Billionaires: McMahon vs. Trump (cameos by Bobby Lashley and Umaga)
The big story here is that one of the billionaires goes home bald, and while bait-and-switch is pretty common in wrestling I can't see the WWE not paying this off, likely with Vince getting a 'Kojak'. Lashley is currently the company's new pet project to take them into the next twenty years (I guess Masters, Dykstra, Dupree and the other attempts just didn't have it) and this will probably give him that huge WM moment that all the top stars seem to get on the rocket to the top. The real question is where do either Umaga or Lashley go from here; Umaga's the IC champion so a lengthy and dominating run through the Raw midcard I guess, but he's built as such a monster I can't see anyone else in the midcard beating him. And Lashley's ECW champion but he's had almost nothing to do with the brand the past two months, not to mention they really have NOBODY going after the damn belt.

WINNER: Bobby Lashley

World Title: Undertaker vs. Batista
From day one after Taker won the Rumble, I've said he's getting the title. There's no way Batista was going to be the guy to break "The Streak", and I'm still convinced nobody will ever break it. That said, Taker has been in amazing shape for his age and seems to be putting somewhat of an effort into his matches, even if he still buries everybody. Since he's been back from the injury Batista's been pretty boring, maybe a heel turn will freshen him up a little. Hell, put him back on Raw. It's where he wants to be anyways.

WINNER: Undertaker

WWE Title: John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels
This has a real shot at being match of the night, HBK steals the show so often it can't possibly be considered a surprise anymore. And Cena's fine for what he is in the ring, my one and only beef with the guy is that I'm BORED by him as the champion constantly. The superman comebacks, eternally fighting and beating the odds, it's all too contrived. I'd love to see Cena turn heel, but I can't see it yet. Shawn's in this to once again give credibility to Cena, but at this point I don't really think he needs it. Still, should be a great match.

WINNER: John Cena

Money In The Bank: Orton v. The Hardyz v. Mr. Kennedy... v. Finlay v. Booker v. Edge v. Punk
On one hand, you have damn near every guy I'm interested in thrown into this match, where they could have been spread around for some tremendous Mania undercard matches (Rated RKO v. the Hardyz for the tag titles? Punk versus Kennedy?). Plus even if he was in last year's match, I just don't buy Fit Finlay in a ladder match, nor do I Booker. At this point in their careers they shouldn't even have to be in this type of match. Still, this should be quite the interesting match halfway through the show, and might have a chance to steal match of the night from Cena-Michaels. We can be sure the Hardyz will start fighting with each other, Orton will somehow cost Edge (ending his own WM streak, dammit), Punk will get some loud cheers but probably be the first guy knocked out, and Booker will just be there. My real hope is that the MITB winner cashes in later the same night and surprises Cena, taking the WWE Title off of him. And that winner?

WINNER: ...KENNEDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Kane vs. The Great Kahli
Kahli will raise his arms and scream like a tool repeatedly, Kane will be the good loyal company employee and Vince will wet himself.

WINNER: The Great Kahli

Women's Title: Melina vs. Ashley
This is here purely to sell Playboys, and while Melina is capable of putting on a great wrestling match, Ashley is not. She's nice to look at, she's mildly competent in the ring in the right situation (read: Trish Stratus) but this is not it. The Lumberjills aspect of this means they can parade the rest of the Divas out, and that's not really a bad thing. I half enjoyed the 5 on 5 match from Smackdown, at least until Jillian ate the pinfall AGAIN. But still, if it means Maria , Michelle McCool and Jillian wind up on the show, then great. Still, the WWE isn't stupid enough to put the title on the covergirl. They didn't do it for Hemme 2 years ago, they didn't even book Candice a title shot last year, and they won't put Ashley over now.

WINNER: Melina

ECW Originals vs. The New Breed
This is a very schitzophrenic match. On one hand, I like the concept of the old guys against the new guys, and the NB stable is more convincing than it should be (particularly where Kevin Thorn is concerned). But this just smacks of the Invasion angle again where one side is getting 90% of the wins, and RVD is the only competent guy on his side. I'm not saying the brand has to be built around the old guys, but to constantly job them out to the New Breed and basically force Van Dam out the door to TNA is idiotic.

WINNER: The New Breed

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. MVP

The hot rumor is Benoit will jump to Raw soon, and I can't see him taking the title with him. MVP meanwhile has actually turned into quite a guilty pleasure, from the so-stupid-it's-funny shuffle he does in his entrance to the promos, I think MVP as US champion will do good things for Smackdown. Of course I liked the Boogeyman last year too. Sue me. Side note: Benoit back to Raw will be AWESOME, provided he's not wasted like he was the six months after he lost the world title to Orton in '04.

WINNER: MVP

And apparently they're going to run a battle royal as a dark match before the show and cram all the tag teams in there as a DVD extra. I can't stress how much I detest this idea, you have FOUR hours to kill. You can't do a 10-15 minute battle royal with all the guys you left off the show and televise it? Give me a break. Nitro, Cryme Tyme, the World's Greatest Tag Team, Londrick, Carlito... all these other guys aren't on the show because of it and we'll no doubt suffer through a good solid hour of recaps and repeated McMahon-Trump segments. Unbelievable.

So overall, I have a feeling this show will be the same as the last two years. A good show for what it is, but nothing truly memorable in the vein of Savage-Steamboat from WM3 or the Eddie-Benoit ending from WM20. Unless they use the MITB stip and have the winner cash in right then and there to shake up one of the world title matches, I think this year's event is going to be fairly predictable.

And click here for an actual recap of the show that somebody did three days before it airs. It's written in the Scott Keith rant style, and while I can't see all of it happening it's an interesting read.