Rumble thoughts... And that was not a friggin' spaceship!

Well, hard to call this year's Rumble event. A very schitzophrenic show I'd say, some stuff was great and some stuff was just very... very... wrong. One complaint I had though, was the rumble itself wasn't the main event which makes the show seem like it's going on forever. I know they've had title matches after the rumble in the past, but the last I can really remember was '96 with Bret v. Taker. If they'd ended the show with the Rumble, I'd probably call it a great show overall. Anyways, here we go with the rundown:

1. Gregory Helms d. Kid Kash, Funaki, London, Nunzio, Noble to win the Cruiserweight Championship. THANK GOD they're finally putting Helms back with the cruisers, because it's definitely where he excels. Really good match, while it might not be on par with some of the top X division matches in TNA, for a WWE cruiser match it was very watchable. And I'm a Helms mark, so bonus points.

2. Mickie James d. Ashley Massaro. Trish was the ref here, and they're continuing the storyline between Mickie and Trish so it was more of a placeholder match. Still, considering Ashley has next to no training it was alright for what it was. Nasty looking powerbomb off the turnbuckles on Ashley for the pin, btw.

3. The Boogeyman d. JBL. Bwahahaha. I fully admit, I should hate the Boogeyman with everything I am, and yet for some strange reason he's kinda friggin cool. At least until the bell rings, because he's absolutely horrible as a wrestler. But he beat JBL, and beat him cleanly. So all is good, because while I don't detest JBL I'm still not very fond of the guy for anything other than a cheap laugh. And Jillian Hall without the face-cookie is actually pretty cute.

4. Rey Misterio d. Logic, Gravity, and Vince McMahon's pre-conceived notions to win the Royal Rumble. As usual, a very fun match from start to finish. Rey and HHH began the match, they did some comedy stuff early including HHH having each one of his last fued partners come out in a row and getting progressively worse (Flair, Big Show, Kane, etc.). I also came to a realization in this match, HHH when he's not actively trying to make himself look like the ultimate badass is still pretty damn entertaining. In the end it came down to the original two, plus Randy Orton. Rey with the fluke elimination on HHH, and then played possum to take out Orton. Even if it's built around dedicating the win to Eddie Guerrero (RIP), Rey earned this win and I sincerely hope he actually does go to WM to wrestle for the title, World or WWE. If this is a bait and switch and he loses the title shot between now at Mania, that's going to really suck. Especially if it's to facilitate what appears to be Angle's next fued.

5. John Cena d. Edge to win the WWE Championship. Why? WHY? WHYYYYY? And this is not from someone who hates Cena's in-ring abilities or his promos, or actively hates Cena at all. I'm bored with him, and giving him back the title does NOTHING to make me interested in watching Raw, the flagship. I truly don't get this. Edge wins title, ratings go up. People reacting. Cena barely starting to get his popularity back, Edge working the crowds really well, Raw with a surge of momentum... and we're right back to the same crap we were at before NYR except you've cut the legs out from under Edge and possibly destroyed him as a main eventer. This almost ruined the show for me... except something even worse was still to come. And what the hell was up with that stupid entrance?

6. Kurt Angle d. Mark Henry to retain the World Championship. Yes, Mark Henry main evented this show tonight. All I'll say is it took FAR TOO MUCH to finally beat him and put him down. But then, with the show drawing to a close and Angle celebrating in the ring...

THE LOCKER ROOM LEADER OF DEATH FELT HE NEEDED TO STEAL YET ANOTHER SPOTLIGHT. This makes TWO shows in a row I've ordered and had ruined after the main event was over by Mark Calloway (Survivor Series being the other) showing up to totally suck the heat away from a decent enough show. I've tried to semi-defend him in the past but this is it. The Undertaker needs to go away and retire for now, for good, and forever. All he does is ruin careers at this point, either backstage or forcing younger talent to put his broken down ass over in the ring. Randy Orton may have a list of legends he's killed on the back of a t-shirt, but Taker could fill the front, the back, both sleeves, inside front and back, and still be able to come up with matching pants.

Overall, I didn't mind the show tonight but Cena's 2nd title reign and the Undertaker's appearance have definitely tainted this one. Ugh.